August 06th 2009

From left to right : The Stig, ASBO Ben and Top Gear Host and avid EDFC Fan Jeremey Clarkson, donning his reserves kit.

Renound Epsom Downs petrol head and general public nuisance Ben 'ASBO' Stephenson, has been spotted presenting famed BBC motorshow Top Gear.

Eagle eyed Downs fan and car enthusiast Audie 'Shabaz' Cotter was watching the hit show on Sunday evening and couldn't believe his eyes when he saw ASBO presenting the telly based vehicular journal.

" I was slightly taken aback and nearly choked on my Chilli Naan that i bought fresh from The Star Indian restaurant, Station Way, Cheam, Surrey SM3. "

Rumour has it that ASBO had been drafted in as a stand in for Jeremy Clarkson, who was suffering from AIDS at time of filming. ASBO was called upon in the early hours of Friday morning to cover on the Saturdays filming session, and even got to test drive the new Kia Sorrento 4 x 4, which we hear is pretty shit.

In an exclusive interview with BBC Chairman Sir Michael Lyons, Downs reporters got all the necessary answers :

" I have no idea what the fuck you twats are going on about? Now bugger off!! "

It is thought the minor height difference of 37 inches between ASBO and Clarkson was covered by 3 copies of Thompson Local, and clever camera work by the BBC filming crew.

ASBO has yet to make a statement about his involvement with the show, as rumours circulate that he is also in contention to be fan favourite 'The Stig'.

For those of you who though ASBO was shit on Top Gear, dont worry! Clarkson is recovering from AIDS and should be back in time for the next series.

Next Match:

Epsom Downs Vs Wickham Wanderers - 29/11/2009 (GA Cup)

Epsom Downs Reserves Vs AFC Old Bank - 29/11/09 (Div 8)

Est. 2004